(b) It must not fall on a Tuesday or Friday.
(c) The date must not be on the 8th, 18th, or 28th.
(d) The bearer of the letter must not be an orphan.
When the letter was sent and answered right away, wrapped in the same handkerchief in which it was sent, that meant that the man was not accepted. When the letter was not answered right away, that meant that there was hope for acceptance.
A few months after the letter was sent and unanswered, the parents of the man announce their desire to come and talk with the parents of the girl about their plans — this was called "umuli" in Ilocano and "umune-c" in Ibanag. When this was done, the parents of the man had with them some wine for entertainment. A spokesman was invited to talk with the parents of the girl. Sometimes, no acceptance was made immediately because the parents of the girl had to ask first the opinions of the other relatives. Then, they set another date for their coming back to talk over the same matter and to hear whether the man was really accepted or not.
The second meeting was held when the parents of the man went again to the lady's home. This time, they came to hear whether the man was accepted or not. They had some drinks again. Then, the decided on a date to meet for the third time to set the date for the filing of the marriage contract and wedding. This was called "mamasiccal" in Ibanag. Before all of these dates were set, the parents of the lady asked for a certain amount — usually fifty pesos as a dowry or "dete" as it was called. If the parents of the man failed to give the amount set by the lady's parents, it meant failure for the man to marry the woman.
The third meeting came for deciding the date for filing the marriage license and the wedding. Before this was done, they looked at the calendar for good dates so that the couple will be lucky in life. For filing the marriage contract and date of the wedding, they should see to it that:
(b) the dates must not fall on a Tuesday or Friday.
(c) the dates must not fall on the 8th, 18th, or 28th.
2. Another way of courting in the past was that when a man was in love with a lady, he stayed in the lady's home and rendered service to the whole family. There, he was observed whether he was worthy of the woman's love. If he served well, he would be accepted. If not, he was dismissed.
3. Most often in the past, parents were always in favor of marrying their own relatives. The reason for this was they didn't want their properties to be inherited by persons who were not their kin. And they said that when relatives married each other, there was less trouble in the family; that there was greater love, they being relatives.
4. At present, courtship is very different. If a man loves a woman, he writes a letter of talks to the woman without being guided by anybody. If the woman accepts the man, they get engaged. Then, they decide when to marry and inform their parents about it. Whether or not the parents are in favor of their engagement, they marry.
(b) it must not be on a Tuesday or a Friday.
(c) it must not be on the 8th, 18th, or 28th.
Three weeks after the marriage license has been filed, and the marriage announced three times in the church, comes the wedding day. Two days before the wedding day, the "sarong" or "palayok" is made. This is the shelter prepared to accommodate the visitors for entertainment during the wedding day. All the relatives of the groom come to help make it. The wedding day must be a lucky day again based on the "planetario," a calendar used by the old in looking for lucky days for any occasion. On the vesper of the wedding day, the parents of the groom prepare all the things needed for the occasion such as foodstuffs and the wedding attire of the bride. A bride is provided with all the things she needs for the wedding day from head to food like hairpins, comb, oil, ring, bracelet, trousseau, stockings, umbrella, and undergarments. It is believed that when all of these things are given, it will prevent ailments or sterility on the part of the woman. All of these things are arranged in a trunk covered with a big pañuelo when brought to the bride's home. The bearers of these things must not be orphans, so that the couple will have long lives. When these things are brought to the bride's home, they are accompanied by persons playing musical instruments. Upon reaching the home of the bride, the party of the groom calls out "cabalay," and the same is answered by the bride's party. The foodstuffs are brought to the kitchen while the trunk is brought to the main house for check-up by the bride's party. A prayer is also said to remember the dead of both parties.
During the vesper, there are many things to be taken into consideration:
During the submission of the foodstuffs, the groom's party prepares the dishes and everything needed on the wedding day. Then, in the afternoon, the bride and the groom are accompanied to the church for Confession.
Come the wedding day. Both bride and groom get ready for the ceremony. Before starting for the church, they should see to it that there is no rainbow because it will be a bad omen for them. They are accompanied to the church by a band and some relatives. Someone is delegated to shade each of the bride
and groom with an umbrella. Then, they take their seats to wait for the sponsors. During the ceremony, the following precautions should be observed:
After the ceremony, the newlyweds, with the sponsors, go to the convent to sign the marriage contract. Then, they march home again with the band. As they reach home, but should go up the stairs at the same time with the same foot so that both will have long lives. As they reach the last step up the house, a representative from each party receives them and gives them money, preferably silver coins, so that they will have a prosperous life. Then, they go directly to the altar prepared to say a little prayer to remember the dead. After the prayer, the merrymaking starts.
At noon, before the first set for dinner is served, the native folk dance called "mascota" is played by the band and danced by a pair from both parties. The "verso" is sung to the tune of the mascota. During the folk dance, a mat is spread on the middle of the hall where both parties again put some money as a gift to the newlyweds. This is called "gala" or "pataddac" in Ibanag. Then, the merrymaking continues. At noon, when it is about time for lunch, an old woman or whomever is appointed — preferably from the groom's side — goes around and distributes napkins or tickets as symbols for serving. Anyone given a ticket or napkin is designated to serve. If you don't get any, you have to wait until you are given one to show that it is your turn. Then, when the table is set, the woman who distributes the tickets or napkins goes around again to tell the visitors that dinner is served. The bride and groom are always given the privilege to sit at the cabesera or both ends of the table. After the first set is served, a pair of empty plates is set in front of the newlyweds. Then, both parties call one another "cabalay" and give money called "gala" to the couple. The relatives of the groom put their gala on the plate of the bride, while he relatives of the bride put their "gala" on the plate of the groom. Money, as well as other forms or gifts, are given. When the last person has given his share, the money is counted on both sides to find out whose party gave more. Then, it is announced by the counter. If the money counted on either side is not in round figures, someone is asked to complete it. The money is then put together and given to the bride for safekeeping.
At noon, after the bride has eaten lunch, she changes her white wedding trousseau to another gown, usually colored. This gown is another gift from the groom given at the same time with the white wedding gown. The next part of the affair is the "patuluc." This is the time when the bride and the groom, with other relatives, accompanied by the band, go to the house of the groom to get the pillows and blankets wrapped in a mat and tied with a long red piece of cloth. Other things taken are a pair of plates, a bowl, and a pair of cutlery for the couple. Then, it is brought to the bride's home. Upon reaching the place for entertainment, the holders of the beddings and dishes dance with them. Then, the merrymaking continues until the night.
At night, when all visitors are gone, the relatives of the man, do all the returning of the dishes and putting everything in shape. If any dish is broken during the day, it is believed that the couple will have many children. However, in some places, it is considered a bad omen. Then, they break something to pair it as an antidote. The "sarong" or "palayok" is removed. Then, both parties meet in a certain place with a newly weds and count all the money or "gala" together. After the counting. If it happens that a younger brother or sister marries ahead of their elders, they give a certain amount to the unmarried elder so that she or he will not lose his or her chance to be married. The newly weds are given a piece of advice by parents of both parties on how to have a happy married life.
Next comes the "paduruc." This time when the newly weds are asked to lie down at the same time to sleep. An old woman is assigned to sleep between them. She must see to it that the next morning, both of the newly weds get up at the same time. If one gets up later, then he or she will have a short life.
The culminating part of the marriage celebration is called the "alawik" in Ibanag or "paburrias" in Ilocano. This is done after the wedding day. It may be the following day or week after. It all depends upon the decision of both parties. This is a part of the wedding celebration and is done in the groom's home. It serves as a merrymaking, but not as pompous as the wedding day.
Nowadays, the above marriage custom is not very much followed anymore. Sometimes, the simplest marriage is eloping and afterwards solemnizing the marriage with a priest without any celebration. However, for those who can afford, they still follow the old, old custom, although some of the procedures in the marriage ceremony are modernized. The church is decorated and the celebration is only very simple. The guests may only be entertained with breakfast or sometimes supper only.
(b) When the fire is blazing while cooking.
(c) When setting the table or while eating, you drop a spoon or fork.
(d) When the cat cleans its face.
In the past, the people obeyed the mandates of the law. A culprit was reported to the proper authorities in town.
The following were some forms of punishments.
1. If a man failed to pay his taxes, he was brought before the authorities and was kept as a slave.
2. Anybody who was caught stealing animals was required to parade around the town with some remnants of the animal he had stolen. Sometimes, he was punished severely with whips, kicks, slaps, or heavy blows.
3. When two tribes are at war, the captives were either put to death or were kept by the captors as slaves.
4. Corporal punishment was not only true at home, but was also practiced in school. When a child was at fault, any of the following was given as punishment:
(b) Staying under the sun with outstretched arms for some time.
(c) Making the child do the prohibited act for a certain period.
(d) Kneeling before an image to pray the rosary.
(e) Making the child kneel at the corner with arms crossed and deprived of his play.
(f) Flagging. [flogging?]
The above punishments are seldom practiced at present. However, whips, kicks, slaps, and heavy blows still remain to be practiced by parents.
Some don'ts when administering punishments are given below:
(b) Never knock a child at night. A ghost might rescue him and may cause him illness.
(c) Never knock a child on the head so that he will not become stupid.
(d) Never punish a child with a rope so that he will not be hanged or imprisoned in the future.